As crazy as it is, I have dove head first in to not one but TWO bereavement trainings at the SAME time! I am currently training with PAIL Advocates and Stillbirthday.
These courses have a lot of material, extremely valuable information but many of which that tug on your heart strings to put it lightly. Bereavement work focuses on pregnancy loss and loss up to two years of age. Many more people endure this experience then you may think. The statistics being used right now is 1 in 4 people will have a miscarriage or stillbirth. Those numbers are incredibly high, and I want to do my part as a doula, someone in the community, a mother, and a friend to help in any way I can.
Sometimes the material is too difficult but I feel that I owe it to my clients to push through, we have covered tragedies and struggles in other countries, in our own country, and people's personal stories of loss at many points in pregnancy and after birth.
Losing a child is an incredible pain that I can't begin to describe but if I can do anything to help ease some of the pain/burden that a family may endure then I feel I have done my part. Being alone at a birth is hard in itself but being alone while your world is being turned upside down is just something I can't begin to understand.
I took these classes to help hold the hands of people going through a miscarriage, stillbirth, loss of a child and that is what I intend to do, but as the course went on and we came upon the subject of abortion I felt unsure. I thought I was sure in my stance on abortion but as a doula my job is to me non judgmental and after my training I learned so much more on the subject. Some people don't have a choice, as their child has already passed, their child has a diagnosis that will end their life or not be able to live a life "normally" and feel they have no other choice, some people have had been violated and find themselves pregnant, have children already and can't afford another, are simply not ready for children. If someone wants to end their pregnancy they will, regardless of if it is legal or not. I would prefer to have safe options for everyone and a person's reason for this choice is not any of my business.
With that being said, aside from being a antepartum, birth, and postpartum doula I am also providing services for those who have lost babies, are losing babies, have to endure a procedure to pass their babies etc. As the loss of a baby is already hard on a family, I don't want to add any stress to the situation, which is why I am decided to provide my bereavement services to families for free.
There are many things that I can help with during the loss of a baby, suggest memorial options, different remembrance options, pictures, remembering the little things that the family should have to think about as well as holding space and my clients hands through this difficult time.
I am the only bereavement doula within our area that I am aware of, I wish to help everyone through their journey's, please feel free to reach out to me to help you through this time.
Love your doula, Taylor