"I only want my partner in the room, to create an intimate birth experience between the two of us."
This tends to be in the mind of many parents, or partners that say they don't want someone taking their place in being their partners sole support. BUT- I will tell you first hand that birth can take many turns, no matter how well you prepare, how many books you read, those babies always have their own plans. This is a lot of pressure on your partner, they haven't had any more experience with birth than you have and again, every birth is different.
After what I thought was a successful birth the first time, which I was very happy with the outcome and it all went very well I was prepared to do it again. When the time came it was like a brick wall hit me, my second birth was more empowering. I felt more vulnerable, more unsure at first until my nurse arrived. I was given an opportunity that changed my life, my nurse became my doula. She supported me, helped me to get things moving along, told me I could do it and I wouldn't die when I thought that I couldn't do it anymore.
This is not to say that my husband was sitting in a corner just watching as I birth our child, he held my hand, he assisted in all the techniques that were suggested to me and he told me he was there for me, he loves me, that I was doing great. I had other support people in the room as well, they were there watching for a large amount of my journey but they were important people in my life and having their presence made all the difference to me. Fun fact- having an environment you feel unsafe or unsure about can literally stall labor. Think of other mammals, if they felt a predator was coming or they were in an unsafe area to have their babies they will stall labor to move to a better location. Many times when a laboring person isn't feeling supported or safe they will stall labor without even knowing it.
Let's talk about planned or even unplanned cesareans. It would seem that having a doula for a cesarean would be unneeded right? Wrong- if you have no other support person a doula can help you by holding your hand, telling you what is happening and what to expect, keeping you positive, calming you and so much more. If you have a partner and a doula isn't aloud in the room (per hospital policy, check your hospitals policy beforehand) your doula will wait for you, supporting family until you come out of surgery. They can stay with you or baby during recovery which ever you prefer to help ease your mind while your partner rests, or is with the other.
Remember- a doula is there for YOU. The parents of the baby are the only person that a doula has to think about, your doula will not leave you for another patient, another labor etc. Your doula can tag your partner out if they need rest, so you aren't left alone. Your doula can hold your hand when your partner needs a bathroom break, they massage your back when back labor is immense. The piece of mind a doula gives in itself makes it worth it.
Labor bags can have many different tricks in them to help through labor and postpartum. Think of your doula as your personal Mary Poppins! Ice packs, hear packs, rebozos, massage techniques, Miles Circuit, different positions, affirmations, the list goes on.
Still unsure if a doula can help you, if a doula is "worth" it to you? Message me or call me for further questions.